Is there really only one “great love” in our lives? It’s a question that has fueled novels, films, and endless conversations between people. Many of us still hold a deep-rooted relationship in our minds, wondering what would have happened if the story had had a different ending.
Singer Kylie Minogue recently opened up about her relationship with Michael Hutchence in her new documentary. She admitted that her relationship with the INXS frontman was so special that she often felt like she was searching for the same feeling in subsequent relationships, never finding it in the same form again.
But does everyone really only have one or two great loves in life?
The romantic myth of the "soul mate"
The idea that there is only one person destined for each of us is deeply rooted in popular culture. From romance novels to television series, we are taught to believe that there is a "right one" out there.
In fact, various theories claim that a person experiences only two or three great loves in their lifetime: first love, the love that breaks our heart, and the love that heals us. But experts say the reality is much more complex.
What does psychology say?
According to psychologists, there is no scientific evidence that shows that people can only fall deeply in love once or twice in their lifetime.
On the contrary, studies suggest that we are fully capable of forming strong emotional bonds at different times in our lives. What changes is not our ability to love, but how we experience love at different stages.
Often, the relationships that stay in our minds the longest are those associated with important periods of our lives, with strong emotions, or with stories that never received the closure they deserved.
Why do we idealize ex-partners?
One of the reasons why some loves seem irreplaceable is the way our memory works. As the years go by, we tend to remember the beautiful moments and fade the more difficult ones.
As a result, an idealized version of the past is created that new partners find it almost impossible to compete with. This can lead us to mistakenly believe that we have lost the one true love of our lives.
Love changes with us.
Experts point out that our emotional needs evolve over the years. The person who suited us in our 20s is not necessarily the one who would fulfill us in our 50s or 60s.
As we grow older, our priorities, expectations, and the way we experience intimacy change. For this reason, a great love in the past does not preclude the possibility of an equally strong or even more important love in the future.
How many great loves do we have in life?
The experts' answer is simple: there is no set number.
Some relationships change us forever, some teach us important lessons, and others help us heal. Just because one love was special doesn't mean we can't experience another just as profound.
Ultimately, perhaps the question is not how many great loves we have in life, but how many times we are willing to give ourselves the opportunity to love again.
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