After three decades, a woman recalls one of the most traumatic moments of her life and gets the courage to share it with all her experience in "Cosmopolitan '" magazine. Gabby, found in her therapist's office tells how she quite suddenly remembered that in her childhood she was sexually abused.
She confesses that she was lying on the sofa in the therapist's office and stared at the ceiling. Together with the therapist, they had discovered a very good way to tell life events: not to be seen in the eye. This helped the patient feel less penetrating and vulnerable to her traumas, and it was this tactic that helped her, after a long time in therapy, talk about the feelings she had never shared with others. Paritur, the narrator of this story, named Gabby, showed that throughout her life she felt as if she had benefited from others, even when it came to sex.
The interlocutor told him that this way of expression made him think that Gabby had experienced a history of sexual abuse. Gabby immediately reacted as if biting something, but remembered an event that her mind had forgotten. A distant memory had affected every area of ??her life and the trauma was so great that her brain had deeply ingrained it. She remembered the sexual abuse she had experienced as a child. The palms of his hands were sweating, his body was numb and he seemed to no longer belong in that room. There were only a few minutes left from the end of the session, when the therapist grabbed her by the shoulders, breaking the physical boundary between the patient and the therapist. "I will call you as soon as I finish the session. You are not alone. "I'm here," he told Gabby, who was already terrified.
After leaving, he went to a store and went straight to the dressing room, where he cried. She then called her friend Elisa, who worked with people who had experienced trauma or faced various addictions. He knew very well that she would help him.
“Elisa, I just remembered! "As a child, I was sexually abused," he said through tears.
"Gabby, I always suspected her," her friend replied, and suddenly, Gabby felt relieved. He already understood why he was addicted to narcotics, why he worked endlessly, or why he needed a truly romantic relationship. However, as soon as he got home, all the relief disappeared, leaving room for despair. Gabby called the therapist, who explained that she had recovered a broken memory.
Disa ditë më vonë, Gabby la një seancë tjetër me terapisten, këtë herë përmes telefonit. Ndërkohë që e telefononte, ndihej e paralizuar nga frika. Terapistja e pyeti nëse kishte ndonjë kujtim të ri nga ngjarja dhe Gabby rrëfeu se në vetëdijen e saj, ende nuk e kishte rikuperuar të gjithë përvojën, rrjedhimisht, nuk dinte shumë detaje. Ajo s’mbante mend saktësisht çfarë ndodhi apo kush ishte personi që e abuzoi. Thjesht, ishte mëse e sigurt që kishte ndodhur. Tanimë, kishte çelur një derë të re, nga e cila kishte frikë, por edhe kuriozohej.
Shumë shpejt, nisi të kryente terapi në grup dhe e kuptoi se kishte shumë gra që kishin përjetuar të njëjtën traumë. Mësoi edhe se truri ka një mori mënyrash me të cilat përballon traumat, ndonjëherë edhe duke i harruar ato. Truri thjesht shkëputet nga e tashmja. Në rastet e traumës me “T” të madhe, shkëputja është edhe më e fortë, ndonjëherë edhe fshihen komplet nga memoria e viktimës.
E gjithë jeta e Gabby-t mori kuptim, por edhe u trondit në çdo dimension të saj. Terapistja e ndihmoi që të kuptonte pse iu deshën plot tri dekada që të kujtonte traumën e saj, gjithsesi e gjithë puna që bënë së bashku, yoga, meditimi, si dhe dëshira për të qenë versioni më i mirë i vetes, e ndihmuan të kujtonte gjithçka.
Gabby admits that today she clearly sees how a great force of love restored her hope and healed her child hurt by the person who hurt her so much when she was just a little girl.
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Source: Cosmopolitan
