Communication in relationships today takes place mainly through various apps, which is quite practical for all of us. However, no icon or 'gif' can ever replace face-to-face conversation.

That's why there are some things that are better said face to face with the other person, especially if it's about the person you love. There are many phrases that are better said in private, but there's one thing you should never text your partner.

It's about the widely known phrase: "We need to talk."

According to psychologist Dr. Linda Kaye, this sentence can cause anxiety in anyone who reads it, not just among romantic partners.

"Such messages never cause positive reactions. We are always surprised when we read them and think something negative."

Psychology emphasizes that the language we use in written communication is very important. If, for example, your boss sends you a message and says you need to talk, then you will automatically put yourself in a very stressful position and think about whether or not this very anxious conversation will happen and the consequences could be negative (even if you have done nothing wrong).

Something similar happens in more personal relationships, when we write about how we should speak. That's why this common phrase is considered forbidden by experts.

Furthermore, by sending such a message to your partner, in case something has happened that you need to clarify, you give them time to prepare for the conversation (especially if they are at fault). 

alternatives

Instead of writing, "We need to talk," suggest a coffee date or a meeting at home, without further details about what will follow. This way, you'll have a chance to see what his real reaction is to the topic you're going to discuss.