Apologizing is a small act that carries a lot of weight - it can mend relationships or deepen wounds. But many people think they've apologized, when in reality they've only made the situation worse.

If you're really looking to be honest and improve an unpleasant situation, keep these 5 common mistakes in mind and make sure to avoid them.

1. Apology without substance: “I’m sorry you felt that way”

This is not an apology. In fact, it is the most passive way to avoid responsibility. What did you do specifically that brought about that feeling? If it is not said, it does not exist.

Even expressions like "I'm sorry I hurt you" can be incomplete because they focus on the emotion, not the wrong action.

2. Blaming the other person: “I’m sorry that…, but you had to...”

If you start with "I'm sorry" but then pass the ball to the other person, you're not apologizing - you're avoiding responsibility.

If there are things that need to be discussed, do it after you apologize, not during the apology.

3. Immediate justifications:

"I'm sorry, but I've been very busy and not in a good mood. I've been going through a difficult time."

No, this is not an apology - it's an excuse.

The apology should come cleanly, without “buts.” You can explain the reasons later, after you have shown that you understand the mistake.

Try this:

“Thank you for accepting my apology. I want you to know that I have been very stressed recently, but that does not excuse my actions. I just wanted you to know.”

4. Lack of sensitivity to consequences:

Apologizing not only means admitting your mistake, but also showing that you understand how it affects the other person.

Ask yourself: How might that person have felt? How did this affect our relationship? If you're not sure, don't assume. Ask.

5. Conditional apology: “Forgive me now!”

Thanks for your honesty, but automatically asking for or expecting forgiveness is another mistake. No one is obligated to forgive you. Forgiveness takes time, empathy, and desire, and none of these come with a request.

Don't say:

“You must forgive me.”

“You’ll feel better if you forgive me.”

Just apologize and let the other person decide what to do with that feeling. True forgiveness doesn't happen with ultimatums.

At the end of the day, apologizing is not just about saying "I'm sorry." It's a process that requires clarity and empathy. If you're not willing to include these, you're probably not ready to apologize!

Sources: Psychology Today